Because You're Dead
by xNear
Summary: Why wasn't he answering me? I started to panic and shook him slightly. "Mello, it's not funny anymore, you can get up already." I was starting to raise my voice a bit now. I checked his pulse. No...It's not true. M - ForLemon/ComplicatedLove/Suicide.
1. Nothing but lies

_Near's POV_

_March the 6th. It actually happened._

_Mello, my former "Rival" as people saw it, was in the garden playing with Matt, third ranking at our orphanage. Now Mello was one to pick a fight if he was in the mood too, and a good percentage of the time he won them. Or came out better at least. _

Today, March the 5th, Mello had decided to be cocky - not really a suprise to me. But Mello...he had taken on one of the largest kids in the orphanage.  
I sat there on the grass only meters away...in utter shock. It could even be seen on my normally emotionless face.

Five minutes after the fight had started and Mello was already on the floor with blood running down his face. What? Mello had actually lost a fight...?

Roger rushed over to inspect the damage and Matt was sat by his side smiling sadly and telling the blonde he'd done a good enough job. Stupid Matt. Mello had got himself into a no-win fight and of course, depicted by the title: had lost it. How could he just say he had done a "good enough" job?

Mello was taken to the infirmary, and I followed close by - despite being told by Mello to never follow him. It was creepy for me to do so according to him. I sat at the side of his bed in my normal sitting position, one leg hunched up to my chest and the other hanging down over the side of the chair. Matt was on the opposite side holding his hand. I'm suprised actually...Matt didn't even glare at me for being there.

It got dark quickly and we were sent out of the infirmary and off to dinner.

Mello soon appeared at the table but was complaining to Roger that he was exhausted from earlier and just wanted to go straight to bed and sleep. Even without having his chocolate bar. I, at the time, didn't notice anything strange about this...I didn't even notice his clue. Why was I so stupid Mello...?

The next morning I got up out of bed at 5:30am. The usual as I normally go for a shower this time. You can't have white hair and **not** shower daily - **trust me.**

As I was walking down the hall I had an unexplainable urge to go and check Mello's room. There he was. Sound asleep on his bed and without the covers over him. Silly blonde.

I got out of the shower at 6 and went to check on Mello again...normally he would be up be now?

When I got inside his room I stared at him and said his name fairly quietly so I wouldnt wake anyone else. "Mello...?" Nothing. Come on, he can't be that deep of a sleeper...he eats all that chocolate.

I repeated myself a bit louder. "...Mello? Wake up." Still nothing. Well this was strange.

I walked over to the side of his bed and sat down, holding his hand. Why was he so cold?

"Mello, come on...get up." Why wasn't he answering me? I started to panic and shook him slightly.

"Mello, it's not funny anymore, you can get up already." I was starting to raise my voice a bit now, from the shock. I checked his pulse. .

No. You're **lying**.

"**MELLO GET UP!**" I screamed at the top of my lungs - probably waking everyone up on the floor. I don't care.

"**MELLO PLEASE...WAKE UP. GOD DAMNIT PLEASE!**" Tears were slowly starting to form in the corners of my eyes and I didn't bother to wipe them away.

Matt heard my shouts and ran into the room. He saw me at the side of Mello's bed holding his hand and sobbing. What must he have thought?

"...Near? Near! W-What's wrong?!" he stuttered on the last part...I'm sure he had a good idea. I ignored him, continuing to shake Mello to try and get him to wake up.

"Mello, Please! Please wake up! I don't hate you, Mello. I love you!" And so the words finally managed to escape from my mouth. All these years...they had been locked away behind my monotonous voice and emotionless face. I had to wait until now. I had missed my chance...He would never know the truth.

Matt stared at me in shock - both from what I just said and from the realization of the scene. "...Mello? Is he..." The corners of Matt's eyes were welling up. Even the bright orange goggles couldn't hide his tears.

I simply sat there, tightly holding the blonde round the waist and crying into his chest. "He's gone Matt...I never got to tell him."

Matt ran out the room clutching his heart. I don't know which of the two reasons it was because.

Roger came rushing in, wide-eyed from all the screaming caused by me. "Near! What's wrong?!"

I just carried on sobbing and holding Mello. _Why_ did this have to happen. _Why_ to _Mello_? He didn't do _anything_ to deserve it...

A week has passed since Mello's death...I feel responsible somehow. I've been refusing to eat - i'm just not in the mood, neither is Matt by the looks...he hasn't once touched his gameboy since it happened. And he isn't wearing his goggles...he swore that he wouldn't wear them again now. To be honest I didn't believe him...

"Near! Matt! Breakfast is ready!" God damnit Roger, why can't you see we just **don't **want to know?

I walk out of my bedroom and down the hall towards Mello's room. I don't know why but I need to.

I open the door and feel a slight breeze pass me as I walk in. "_...Near._" I recognise that voice...But.

I stare in shock at the person sat down on the bed and feel a single tear roll down my cheek. _"...M-Mello...?"_

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**Cliffhangers~ Okay so this is my first fanfiction, I hope you like it! c: Reviews and comments will be THOROUGHLY appreciated! Next chapter will be out very soon!~ 3**

_~ xNear_


	2. Explanations

_I stare in shock at the person sat down on the bed and feel a single tear roll down my cheek.  
"...M-Mello...?"_

* * *

_Mello's POV_

_I can tell he's...**Scared? Confused? Happy?** It's not just one emotion he's feeling right now, i'm positive.  
He looked at me with those beautiful onyx-coloured eyes...wait, did I just say beautiful? "But...you're...you're d-dead?" His voice cracked on the last part._

All I can really do at the moment is smile at him, how can I explain when I don't even know myself?  
I chuckled and watched him intently. He's...blushing?

"No, not dead...Come on Near, you're meant to be smart." He simply looked at the floor, trying to cover his reddened cheeks with his fringe.

"Near...I have unfinished buisness, i'm not leaving just yet." He saw me smirk - it only made his blush deepen. Damn.

"I, uhm...may I request what business that might be Mello?" _Oh Near_...You _really_ aren't good at keeping some certain emotions hidden. **Give it up**.

"I'm not sure yet _dumbass_. If i'd have known I would've been outta here by now don't you worry." _Good god_...His eyes were welling up.

"O-Oh uhm...Sorry to request such a blatantly obvious answer."

**No no no. Don't cry. _Anything_ but that.**

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him, it's all I could really think of doing. "Near...you're a little crybaby, you know that?" I have to keep my cool. "Mello...I-" Suddenly the door opened and Roger rushed in, staring at us. Well this is freakin' awkward.

Uhh...how am I going to explain this? I'm alive for one. And now my reputation is ruined with Roger because i'm hugging this little white fluffball. Great. Just what I need.  
"Roger...Heyyy..." Keep going Mello. You're doing great. Oh crap - i'm still holding Near! "Erm, you probably want some answers...rig-" ...The old geezer faints before I even have a chance to finish my sentance.

_Nicely done, Roger._

Near looked back at me."Mello, i've refrained from informing you on this so far, but I feel the need to now... I... Erm, I missed you?" Near it's funny because you don't know that I heard you when you told me you loved me...don't worry, I did.

"Tell me the truth. What were you about to say Near?" Please tell me.

"Mello, that was the truth. Im certain."

**Liar.**

Damn...I guess i'll have to force you to tell me. "M-Mello...what are you-" I crushed my lips against his and noticed his blush had returned. **Easy.**  
All of a sudden there was a loud bang as the door flung open and there stood the red-headed gamer.

**"MELLO?!"**

His sleeve was soaked and I could see the crimson liquid running down his hand.  
I quickly drew away from Near and stared at him.

**"...M-Matt?!"**

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**Yeah yeah, pretty short and crappy chapter. I just wanted to get like..a little reunion accross. C: dont worry if you're still confused, you're sorta...meant to be in a way. Anywho, as the story progresses you should be able to get a better idea of whats happened to Mello~ woo. OH AND SORRY FOR THE OOC NESS FOR NEAR! D8 and another cliffhanger c: I love to torture you readers.**

**And again, reviews are loved!~ well..lets put it this way, no reviews, NO NEW CHAPTAH C:**

_~ xNear_


	3. Questioning

_Matt's POV_

There. Right _there_. I saw it with my own two eyes...I **couldn't** have been imagining! I know I wasn't! All these thoughts running through my head...

_Near_... **I knew it.** Yet all you can do is look at me as if it was all just a game to you. Yeah, a game. That's all it ever is in your deluded and subdued world.

As for you _Mello_, I saw through your looking glass... you acted like you despised and revolted him until it got to a point where you slipped into being overly-obsessed over him...I told you no good would come from it, so why? How? Tell me... you were kissing your rival, no excuses. No more.

**Nothing.**

_Mello's POV_

_Damnit..._Why does he always have to rush aroud like that. Sure, he might be a bit shocked and confused but at least say hi. What a nice welcome.

Besides, what's up with his arm...? Did he get into a fight or something? **God knows.** I don't want to be one to find out. I feel a little guilty though... leaving him with unanswered questions, him finding me kissing Near - not that it should matter _too_ much, he's just a friend anyway - And of course theres the whole death thing... _Gods,_ poor guy. I guess I can go talk to him but... _I can't leave Near here just like this._

**But.**

_Near's POV_

He's done it again... _Matt, what must you be gaining from the harming of yourself?_ Mello is probably to dazed to notice or realize just what you've done and I am not one to mention other peoples business. **Hm**. Matt probably thinks Mello's death is _his_ fault. That or he's mad at me for being kissed - not that i could've seen or prevented the happening. **I'm confused myself, Matt**.

There's nothing to do but focus on something more _logical_ and push the thoughts away for now.

**Borrowed Time.**

_Blue meets grey._

"Mello...?" **Correct.** He **is** too dazed to notice.

"Mello, stop daydreaming." I clapped my hands infront of his face to get his attention. _Barely worked_.

"Huh? What do you want?" ...How can he expect to get away with saying that after he'd just..._kissed me?_

"...Why did you kiss me?" _Damnit_, I can feel my face heating up when I mention it. Inconvenient body reactions.

He smirked at me "I _didn't_ Near, you just _wished_ that I would." ...Mello, you're not even making sense?

"You just kissed me. I am correct, please stop trying to confuse me when you know it isn't logically possible." There's his devilish smirk again... I have to admit, that - and his girl-ish hair - does make him seem...**_attractive_**, one might say.

"...Why are you so anti-social about everything? The best i've got from you is that _little_ blush just then." **...He saw it.** Thankyou yet again for making it all the more obvious bodily reactions. I can feel my cheeks going bright red.

"Yeah, you see. Thats all I get." He grinned, pointing to my bright-pink appearance.

"I do not understand what you are referring to Mello." Just look down and hide it...

"Look, when I kissed you like th-" I didn't mean to. I really didn't. Something just made me lean forward and press a light kiss to his lips.

_"...What the hell, Near?!"_ **Payback.**

"You did it to me, by the looks you were going to carry on until Matt burst into th-" All I got to say before Mello interrupted my sentance.

"**MATT! I FORGOT!** Which way did he run Near?!" I don't think Mello seems to be able to process the definition of a rhetorical question, as that clearly was not meant to be one. Nevertheless he ran out of the room following the way he thought Matt had gone, leaving me there. **Confused**, **anxious** and even, _dare_ I say it..................

**Wanting more...**

**

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**Oh i like cliffhangers. So beautiful...~ ANYWAY, PLEAAAASE REVIEW. :c otherwise..no new chaptah. 3 and we all know you want your fluff ;o**

_~ xNear_


	4. Matt's Life

"**Go away, Mello!**" Matt was leant against the back wall, looking down at where he stood.

"No. Let me in, Matt..." Mello shouted to him, although as quietly and calmly as he could. Here and there children were wondering about, walking aimlessly down the long corridors of Wammy's. Mello was wary of them, wanting to avoid prying eyes - _not that he would have normally done._

"I won't." Matt said, for the umpteenth time this evening. "I told you...I'm fine already."

Mello's response was sharp, his patience running thin by now. "Well then open up."

Matt's possibly even sharper... "No, Mello. It's getting close to curfew, go to bed." Mello had come here to speak to and see Matt, his **best** friend, and now he wouldn't even let him in.

He tried again. "Please...tell me you're alright, truthfully."

"I _just_ told you Mello."

"But...I've heard things...about--" He stopped, thinking over the conversation he had heard in the corridor between Roger and L. "I heard that...I heard about your mother...and father. Is _that_ why your wrist is...?" Mello could feel Matt look away from the floor and towards the locked door he was stood behind.

**-Flashback-**

_**"Mail!"** Father grabs my arm. I jump up, striking my head on the roof of the car._

_"Do you have any idea what your mother's been doing? I can't get a moment of peace in that house! For Christ's sake, it's been nothing but hell since you left! Can't you just try and stay out of trouble? Try and make her happy? Just stay out of her way and do whatever the hell she wants. Can you do that, Mail? Can you do that for me? **Well?!**" Father yells, raising his voice so loud I can feel my skin crawl._

_Slowly I nod my head - yes. I don't dare make a sound as I cry inside...I know I'm wrong. And I know, as always, it's all my fault. I turn to father whilst carrying on nodding. He reaches over to pat my back gently._

_"Alright.." He says, in a softer tone, "Alright...That's my Tiger. Let's go home, okay?" As father drives the car up the same abandoned street I walked down hours ago on my escape, I sit at the far side of the car, sighing heavily and looking out the window._

_I feel like a trapped animal who wants to claw it's way out of the cage._

_The closer we get to **The House**, the more I can feel myself quiver._

_"Home." I say to myself. I stare down at my hands, my fingers trembling from fear. I know in a few moments I will be back where I started. In all, nothing's changed, and I know nothing will... I wish I were someone, anyone but who I am now. I wish I had a life, a loving family, a proper home. Father drives into the garage, turning to me before opening the car door. _

_"Well, here we are," he states with a false smile. "We're home."_

_I look right through him, hoping, praying he can feel my fear, my pain from inside of me... "Home?" I say to myself. "...I have no home."_

**-End-**

"What of my family?" Matt said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"...So, what they did to you..." Mello's face softened for a moment as he trailed off. _"...It's true?"_

* * *

**HOLY CRAP GUYS~ NO POV'ing THIS TIME C: **

**Anyway, I'm pretty chuffed on this chapter...and I'm gonna make a chapter like this one for Near and Mello too. Lil' backgrounds ;o Yay~ ANYWAY! Please review c:! If you have any ideas for the story or backgrounds, they'd be appreciated! xD... oh and, is this short? its 805 words or whatever but...it looks really short to me, considering how much time i spent on it D:**

_~ xNear_


	5. Mello's Troubles

**OKAY GUYS...I've realised I should PROBABLY start putting a disclaimer. Since everyone else does. So:**

**I do not own Death Note or it's characters. Although I DO own a Near cosplay and Matt cosplay. And a poster.**

**If I DID own Death Note, Mello and Near would be making out every two seconds, I'd give some of them a genderswitch from time to time, and I'd somehow fit a strip club in there. SO, do you really think I own it?**

**I might start putting characters to say that too... Hum.**

* * *

There was a loud bang which echoed through the walls of Matt and Mello's bedroom.

"...Why the heck did you just punch the wall, Matt?" Mello backed away from the door slightly, incase he decided to attack that too.

"Because...**I-IT'S TRUE, ALRIGHT?!** What does it matter to you?! You'll never understand!" Matt slid down the wall opposite the door, bringing his legs up to his chest. "You won't...You won't ever understand..."

A soft whimpering could be heard from outside, but Matt turned a blind eye to it. It couldn't be Mello after all...Mello doesn't cry. Not_ Mello_. Not _Ever_.

"I-I just...my parents...were the same, Matt. Which is why I'm here...I _always_ did my best, but all I got was 'You could do better, go try again until you get it right.' I wasn't appreciated...and they kept trying to send me out into foster homes until there were none left...I don't want to fail them. I want to get it right even if they're the ones who stole my childhood from me..." The once-quiet whimpers had now turned to fairly loud sobs.

"You're **lying**. You're just trying to make me feel better...trying to share your own "pain". It's probably all a **lie**... just like you hating Near was too. You're a liar, Mello! You can never change a liar!"

Footsteps could be heard heading away from the door, and the sobs soon turned silent. "...He...he was crying. Mello never cries. _Maybe..._Just_ maybe_ he meant it..."

Mello ran down the hallways of Wammy's, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Matt had just called him a liar. And when he was admitting to him about his parents as well...

Kids stopped and dodged out of the way of him, not wanting to get involved in an either _extremely_ angry Mello - as it could have appeared. - or an _amazingly_ upset one.

Mello soon found the kitchen, where he crawled under the table, hunching his legs up and leaning forward. Matt...didn't believe him. He'd been nothing but faithful and loyal to the gamer for all his life - as Matt had to him. - And he still didn't believe him...

**-Flashback-**

_Things were never the same after I was released from Juvenile Hall and returned to the home. The other foster kids seemed to eye me with suspicion...Whenever I walked into a room, they would suddenly stop talking and flash me fake smiles._

_Whenever I tried to join in conversations, I'd find myself stood infront of the group with my hands buried deep inside my pockets. After an eternity of silence towards me, I'd finally leave the room, feeling stares on the back of my neck and hearing whispers from behind. "...Hey, did you hear what he did? Seriously..."_

_Even Carlos, who I once considered my "big brother," brushed me off before he moved out of the house.  
After a few days of the cold shoulder, I found myself spending all my time fiddling in my room and studying - even though there was no reason to it at the point in time..._

_One Friday afternoon, in July, my lawyer - known as Gevanni - dropped by. I felt a surge of excitement as he marched up the stairs to my room. I couldn't wait for someone decent to talk to. As soon as he entered though...I knew something was wrong, he had a grim look on._

_"What is it?" I asked in a low voice, afraid to raise it any louder. Gevanni placed a hand on my shoulder gently. "You...need to pack your bags." His voice full of pity..._

_"W-Why? What'd I do?" I brushed his hand off. Visions of Juvenile came rushing back into my mind. "Why?!"_

_Gevanni gently explained that I was not in any trouble again, and he knew about the struggle I was having in this home since I had moved back. He also stated that he had been trying to move me into another foster home with fewer kids there._

_"Besides," he confessed, "I'm in a jam here...I got a bigger kid being released next Monday from Juvie, so...well, he's been assigned to live here. So come on now, move it."_

_I wanted to cry, dear god I wanted to cry... but instead, I ran to my room. My heart raced from the combination of excitement and fear of not knowing what was going to happen to me...where I was even going next. With the speed of lightning I flung open my drawers and grabbed every last piece of clothing and items - Books, dictionaries, all that - and stuffed them all into a plastic brown bag._

_Minutes later, I stole a moment of time to take one final look at the room I had slept, cried, played, studied, and spent so much time thinking alone in for just over a year..._

_Even when I had thought my whole world was crumbling around me, I always felt safe and secure in that room...My room. As I gently closed the door I closed my eyes and yelled at myself inside for being so stupid. The two ultimate rules of being a foster child were that I should never become too attached to anyone and to never take someones home for granted. I had foolishly broken both of them rules..._

**-End-**

_Mello's POV_

"_Mello_...?" I heard a feathery light voice coming from the doorway, so I huddled my legs tighter against my body, trying not to make much noise.  
"Mello...It's alright, I'm sorry." Matt...how could you be sorry for calling me a liar. You can't be. "Matt, g-go away."

Suddenly i saw two white socked feet, standing infront of the table. "Near...Is that you? I-I...I'm sorry, I thought you were Matt..." I crawled out from under the table and stood up, quickly grabbing him and hugging him as tightly as possible. He actually...hugged me back.

Near buried his face into my shirt and I felt his arms grip tighter around my waist. "Mello...why were you _crying_...?"

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**FFFF. YOU GUYZ~ You deserved a longer chapter for your amazing patience and waiting skills. So here you go! Once I got started on this I actually found it hard to stop...hah.  
PLEASE REVIEW OR MELLO WONT GET NEAR D8!  
/review whoring ._.**

_~xNear_


	6. Near's Lament

**Me: OKAI DOKAIS GUYZ~ Well, you deserved another long chapter for the waiten', so here you go. Now say it.**

**Mello: Am I fuck saying it.**

**Me: Say it or I'll end this story right here and now.**

**Mello: Good! God damn, I don't give a shit if you end it!**

**Me: SAY IT OR I'LL BURN YOUR CHOCOLATE STASH.**

**Mello: RISA DOESN'T OWN DEATH NOTE OR ITS CHARACTERS. MEANING ME, NEAR, MATT OR ANY OTHER SMART-ASSED WEIRDO INVOLVED IN THIS!**

**Me: Yay. Now carry on.**

**Mello: But I've got the point across.**

**Me: BURN THE STASH.**

**Mello: OKAY OKAY, CALM DOWN. Crazy bitch...**

**Me: ...What did you call me?**

**Mello: AND UHM, SHE...OWNS A POSTER. AND COSPLAY. IF SHE DID OWN DEATH NOTE THEN SHE'D BE INSANELY RICH AND...THERE WOULD BE A STRIP CLUB IN IT. -Shudder-**

**Me: ...You missed a bit.**

**Mello: I'm not saying that. No way in hell. It's practically admitting I'm gay when I'm not.**

**Near: If Risa did own Death Note and ourselves then Me and Mello would be experiencing lip contact every 2.6 seconds. And yes, Mello is indeed gay, as am I.**

**Me: AND ME!~**

**Near: Although unlike him Mine and Risa's**** appearance don't confirm or make it obvious.**

**Me: ...It doesn't sound hot when he says it. -Sigh-**

* * *

_Mello's POV_

I shrugged off Near's question, didn't really feel like answering it...

"Please tell me, Mello. I worry about you and it is **very rare** that you are witnessed crying."

"It's nothing Near, leave it." I tried to put on an impatient face but didn't really suceed...

"Mello, tell me." Damn...he was determined to get an answer.

"...I...was just speaking to Matt about family problems. You know, before we came here and everything..." Let's try and keep it to minor detail, I don't want him getting too invoved in my problems.

"Family problems? Would Mello like to discuss them with me...? Maybe I can help cheer Mello up if he tells me his problems." ...Near, what's up with you? You're speaking in third person again...unlike these last recent days.

"I guess not...If it makes things any better maybe I can discuss _my_...family issues with Mello...? Only if Mello is prepared to listen or wants to..." Is...he trying to open up to me?

"I-I uhm, sure Near...I'll listen. I'd be happy to."

"Where to start...well, my _Mother_...I'm a bit ashamed to say she didn't exactly...love me enough..."

"I'm...sorry, Near." I didn't really know what else to say to comfort him to be honest...I'd have hugged him but I felt it unnecessary at the moment.

"No, don't be. Back to the topic; she didn't love me enough but...my _Father_...he loved me _too much_."

**-Flashback-**

_The previous week in the kitchen came back to me, and I remembered his reaction when I had told Mother what he had done. It would be pointless, I reasoned, waiting until we got back inside the house to tell Mother I had been touched again, as the same thing would happen._

_I understood this, and so felt completely powerless...I thought that Dad must be cross with me for telling Mother of the last time it had taken place, and so this would have to be kept a secret between me and Father._

_The only way I could cope was to block out what was happening. I just sat there, still, and thought that if I didn't mention it or think about it too much, maybe it wasn't real and maybe it wasn't really happening._

_Dad's hand continued exploring up my leg until he rubbed his fingers against the outside of my boxers._

_I don't think I have ever felt as confused as I did at that moment, before or since._

_Dad was the only person in my life who had shown me warmth or tenderness. Dad was the one I could talk to, who I could trust so...surely this couldn't be a bad thing...? Was this just something Fathers did to their sons?_

_I had **too many questions**._

_I decided then and there that I wouldn't ever tell anyone of these occurances, since it must surely be something I had done wrong. I had, after all, let it happen to myself. I knew I probably should have said something, said no, but I loved my Father and didn't want to hurt his feelings in any possible way..._

_But this, I felt, made me as guilty as he was..._

_Dad's touching became frequent, and he soon graduated from just putting his hand over my boxers to slipping them inside. I still didn't want to say no. This was my Father and I adored him..._

_I didn't know how else to cope with the situation other than to simply block out my emotions and thoughts._

_In the utmost betrayal and contamination of my innocence, my Father would use these opportunities to not only satisfy his own sexual needs, but attempt to stimulate mine also._

_He would rub his fingers against me, flicking his fingertips... At such a young age of 8, I didn't even know what the proceedure was called. All I knew was that when he touched me down there it felt "funny"._

_I felt shame and humiliation that he was touching me, even thought my mind hadn't processed it as a bad thing yet. Not only did I feel that, but I also felt guilt and embarrassment that he succeeded in making me feel "wet" down there - A sensation I was not yet accustomed to._

_I used to panic, thinking my Father would be disgusted with me for being so dirty, but he never seemed to mind..._

_These conflicting and confusing emotions were the most traumatic consequence of my sexual abuse. As a little boy I could not comprehend the involuntary sensations produced when he touched me. My feelings of guilt and shame soon turned to self-loathing..._

**-End-**

"It is...ultimate betrayal that stops and a-abused child from speaking out...and keeps secrecy at amazingly high levels..."

"...I...Near, I'm so sorry..." I wrapped my arms around his shaking frame, trying to comfort him in any way I could.

"M-Mello...I can't forget the past...but...I can _cover it_ over with _good_ memories..." What...was he implying...?

"I'll do anything to help if It's possible to cover it up, please tell me what to do, Near." Near looked down, blushing. He...didn't mean _that_...did he? I mean...coming from Near, of **ALL** people.

"O-Oh...uhm..." He suddenly looked up at me, large onyx eyes glazed over again...I couldn't turn him down, he looked so fragile and innocent...

"...Right, but this is just for you..._not myself_." I carefully scooped him up in my arms and carried him out of the kitchen and upstairs, heading towards my bedroom.

_The one thing I didn't realise was a certain gamer was slowly watching mine and Near's every move..._

**God_...What have I gotten myself into?_**

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**THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU REVIEWERS~ My two mains; RetardedRai and Fiato.**

**C: **

**/review whore's more ouo**

**Me: PLEASE REVIEW! or no sex scene~**

**Mello: ...There's a sex scene?!**

**Me: I know Mello, I know...you want it. SO REVIEW!**

**Mello: I DO NO--**

**Me: OKAY, BYE!~**

Dudes...**seriously**, review for my health and Mello's and Near's sexual needs.

_~xNear_


	7. Help or Trouble?

**Mello: NONONONONO! I DON'T WANT A SEX SCENE WITH NEAR!**

**Me: YES YOU DO, STOP LYING!**

**Mello: I DO NOT! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!**

**Me: ...Because your pants say differently. BESIDES, YOU'RE GETTING ONE. NOW GET ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Mello: No.**

**Me: NEAR.**

**Near: Hm...? What seems to be the problem, Risa?**

**Me: MELLO WONT DO MY DISCLAIMERRR... ; ~ ; AND HE'S REFUSING SEX WITH YOU!**

**Mello: Let's face it. Near will die a virgin unless he's raped.**

**Near: ...This chapter proves otherwise, Mello.**

**Mello: GOD DAMNIT, SHUT UP!**

**Me: M-MAAAATT. MELLO WONT DO THE DISCLAIMER AND IT DOESNT SOUND HOT WHEN NEAR DOES IT!**

**Matt: ...Fine. Risa does not own Death Note or it's amazingly sexy characters. E.g. Me and Mello.**

**Me: And Near.**

**Mello: -Glare- ...**

**Matt: If she did it would practically be turned into a gay-lovers anime in which there would be a strip club.**

**Me: and kissen'.**

**Near: Or lip contact.**

**Me: -Covers Near's mouth- Kissing.**

**Mello: Are we done yet? Im bored.**

**Me: Yes . We are done. Or me and Matt are, you still have to loose your virginity. To Near~**

**Mello: I AM NOT LOOSING MY VIRGINITY TO THAT LITTLE--**

**Me: Kthxbai, HOPE YOU ENJOY. OH AND PLEASEEEE visit my friends site..He's called Kraetyz and he'd freakin love a couple of pageviews or comments on his fantasy-like world...writing...stuff. Uh..IF YOU DONT...THEN ILL SKIP THE SEX. **

**http: // talesofillarda . weebly . com/**

**Me: BUT TAKE THE SPACES OUT! D8**

* * *

_Near's POV_

Before I knew what was going on, I was lifted up off the ground by Mello and we set off towards his bedroom.

For a second, I believed I had caught a glimpse of Matt watching us, but it was probably my imagination playing up due to the thoughts clouding my mind; ..._what was about to happen._

My back came into contact with something smooth; Mello's bed. As soon as I'd been layed down he leant forward, forcing his lips against mine, I whimpered from the sudden closeness.

When I "requested" him do this, I never expected a yes...nor did I believe it would just be for me. I was sure that it would also be partially for himself and the sudden eagerness of his actions cleared that up for me.

Mello trailed his lips down from mine to my neck, where he began licking the skin softly. "M-Mello...are you sure you want to go through with this?" At this point in time my emotions were going haywire and I was fighting against them, trying to keep as calm as possible, although I couldn't help the odd stutter.

"What do you mean _'Do I want to go through this'_ ? You asked me to do this..." He looked away from me, maybe it was from confusion...maybe guilt of some sort.

"I know I requested you to but...are you comfortable with thi--" I gasped in shock as I felt him bite down on my neck. Hard. He most likely drew blood too, as it was starting to feel warm...

"A-ah..Please just answer...I need to know if you're comfortable..." I couldn't hold back the sudden moan that slipped past my lips. It wasn't as if I was a masochist..._Or maybe it was_. I'm not sure, but the fact I was being given this by **Mello** seemed to help the situation.

"Near, if I wasn't 'comfortable', as you put it, then why would I have accepted in the first place?" ...He **did** have a point.

I hastily moved my hand to pull on his shirt, trying to get it off. I was denied...I guessed he would want to get mine off first being the dominant one.

**Correct**. His fingers quickly raced over each button on my shirt, for the last two he simply tugged on, popping them off. I squeaked when I felt the rush of cold air hit my chest. "P-Please.." I couldn't stop, my mind was speaking for itself. I had no control.

Mello sat up and smirked. He was enjoying every minute of this. Seeing me half exposed and completely under his power... If im honest, I was enjoying it myself...

"Go ahead." He nodded at me and finishing slipping my shirt off over my shoulders.

Go ahead...? What did he mean? There were many possibilities.

He sighed and pulled his shirt over his head, mumbling under his breath. "Really Near, sex isn't rocket science."

He was slowly leaning closer, until he finally hooked his fingers on the waistband of my pants. I blushed, not knowing how to react really...his fingers were so cold against my skin.

I adverted my eyes towards his window. Was I...was I actually trying to block it out...? What was wrong with me? I had asked for this only ten minutes ago and now here we were, almost ready...**_I couldn't be having second thoughts now!_**

Without warning he pulled my pants down quickly, licking his lips as he did so. I felt his fingers brush against the soft material of my boxers, just like I had when...when...

The door was suddenly flung open and Matt stormed in the room, his face was bright red and his eyes looked extremely sore from crying...

"Matt?! What the fuck are you doing in here?!" Mello looked over at him, picking me up in his arms in a sort of protective way. Like a Mother would with their child.

"Tch. Well I'm sorry I wanted to come in here and spend some time with you for a bit. Just reject my presence." I could clearly see the death glare Mello was giving Matt by now, but I just wanted to carry on...I know I shouldn't have but...

I grinded myself against him, making him let out a small groan. Matt flashed me a look which anyone could read as 'What the fuck are you doing?'.

Mello held onto me tighter, sort of grinding himself back against me but not showing it.

"M-Matt, get out." His voice was shaky from the contact I'd caused.

"No, it's my room too, don't you remember us agreeing with Roger?" Matt had a grin on his face. He was trying to test Mello's limits.

"**Get. Out**. Can't you see I'm fucking busy here?" Matt took this as an opportunity to be smart. Bad idea, Matt...

"Yeah, I can see you're 'fucking' busy. Since you **ARE** trying to fuck your rival." Mello immediately looked back at me, a smile playing on his lips. What's going on in that head of yours, Mello?

There was a clatter. A moan. And a gasp. Mello had just slid his hand underneath my boxers and caught me AND Matt off guard. The moan, from me... The gasp, from Mello... And the clatter, was from Matt's DS hitting the thin floorboards.

"Hah...P-Please...do something, Mello." I could feel Matt's eyes on me. On my back. Mello must have seen Matt blush or something along them lines, as he was smirking again.

"Matt...this is what you want isn't it? You probably want to be doing this to me right now...don't you?" I just carried on trying to push myself back into contact with Mello's hand, I needed this so much...

"Guess what, Matt? You'll _**never**_ have this...You'll never have me _**or**_ Near. _**Ever.**_ I can promise you now..."

There was another gasp, I'm guessing from the gamer...

"Mello...don't do this..." I sighed, not getting anywhere with my contact. I was slowly getting tired of this...I just wanted Mello to **do something** with me, instead of teasing Matt.

_Matt...Oh, Matt. Why couldn't you stay well enough **away**...?_

* * *

**Me: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE SEX~ Well...There is in the next chapter. I promise. Hopefully poor Matty won't witness it...Unless I'm in an evil mood c:**

**Mello: ...I'm not talking to you.**

**Me: You just did asshole. Anyway. YES~ Thankyou for reading so far and I hope you like it...although I know I've dissapointed people with the sex delay =u=; I was lost for words but wanted to make this long...and WANTED to delay it... 3**

**Near: As long as I get what I want.**

**Mello: -Stares at Near-**

**Me: -Stares at Near-**

**Matt: -Stares at Playboy magazine-**

**Mello: ...Okay what the fuck did the albino sheep just s-**

**Me: ANYWAY, TIME TO GO!~ I will upload tomorrow! No school 8D been snowed in for the next four days, WOO~**

**Mello: STOP CUTTING ME OFF GOD DA-**

**Me: DON'T FORGET! CHECK OUT MY FRIENDS WEBSITE, PWEEEASE? Or no sex.**

**Mello: DON'T CHECK IT!**

**Near: CHECK IT!**

**Me: CHECK ITTTT!**

**/FFF third review whoring. o u o onaroll~**

_~xNear_


	8. Please Cover It Up

**Me: ...I got a, uhm, REQUEST...to put a sex chapter in today. And I'm afraid that if I don't my life might be at risk. Or my virginity. -shrug-**

**Mello: Bitch got told.**

**Me: -Glare-**

**Near: So we get to today? -Smirks-**

**Mello: ...Oh god, that's just scary...**

**Me: I agree on that. Anyway, to save my freakin' skin...here:**

**Mello: Don't read!**

**Near: Please?**

* * *

_Mello's POV_

_**I couldn't take it...he was pissing me off so badly right now, I wanted to strangle him. **_

I carefully placed Near down on the bed after removing my hand from his boxers and stormed over to Matt, making as much noise as I could.

"**WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE?! IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG IN YOUR HEAD OR WHAT? GET OUT NOW!**" Before I'd completely lost it, I'd somehow got Matt into a headlock and dragged him over to the door, unlocking it and shoving him outside before locking it again.

What a fucking bother. _Just _as I was starting to enjoy myself too.

I walked back over to Near, leaning down and whispering next to his ear. "Ignore him...forget that happened, I...I'm so sorry..."

He replied with a tender kiss to my lips, and I knew I'd been forgiven.

But...now I needed to get him turned on again and fast...damn. **What a fuss**.

I couldn't be bothered with repeating myself...

I quickly pulled off his boxers and stared at him, blushing. **Near**, of **all** the people in the world. Was lying infront of me, blushing and **fully** exposed to _my _eyes...Is this a dream? The pain straining against my pants told me otherwise.

Near seemed just as eager as me, since he was trying to pull them down, unsucessfully of course. I decided I'd give him a bit of help, and held onto his small hands to give him that extra strength, - not that my pants were exactly a hard task, - as he pulled them down eventually.

I grabbed a bottle of lotion I'd put on the side - before, of course,- and poured some onto three of my fingers, rubbing it in.

I felt Near gently tug on the band of my boxers, pulling them down also. ...Why was he staring at me? Was he nervous? Or... oh you're kidding me, Near. **I guess I could say I won him or came first in that department. **

I caressed my free hand down his body, trying to comfort him or to make his mind clouded with lust so at least he couldn't actually be uncomfortable.

He was starting to shiver, god knows why... Maybe it was my cold hands...?

"What's wrong?" I asked him, my hands stopping from caressing down his smooth body. "Are you...having second thoughts...?"

Near shook his head , wrapping his pale arms around my neck and pulling me closer to him...it was as if he was trying to use my body instead of my hands to warm himself up...

I looked at him, smiling and trying to cover up the guilt and realization of my next action.

"This...might hurt a bit. I'm sorry...it'll be a lot better if you relax and I promise, it'll be worth the pain anyway..."

He nodded shyly, as if he was embarrassed that we were discussing this. _Why should he be?_

I pressed another kiss to his lips, but this one was a hell of a lot more passionate and deeper.

As I gained entrance into his mouth - after being very persuasive~ - I shuffled down a bit, still kissing him for as long as I could.

I slowly but steadily pushed my lotion-coated finger into him, in which I recieved a small whimper.

I pulled away, I had to. God...I needed air so damn badly. "N-Near is it...okay?"

He nodded again, although he seemed unsure... "Is it...painful?"

Quickly he shook his head, as if trying to reassure me and make sure I wasn't going to stop. _I wouldn't...I told him I'd go through with this for him. _

Noticing an opportunity where he was too occupied with answering my questions, I quickly pushed another finger into him, making him tilt his head back in a desperate moan.

Impatiently, I added the last one. Without warning I began to scissor them, making him cry out.

Near was whimpering now...I didn't mean to cause him so much pain, and thought that the lotion would have at least helped out a bit...

"N-Nnh.." He arched his back slightly, leaning forward and allowing better entrance for me.

His face flushed a lot deeper and I felt him grab onto my shoulders, clenching and digging his nails into my flesh.

Finally, after what seemed a life-time of waiting for him to adjust, I pulled my fingers out and moved my hands onto his waist, lifting him up.

"Near...I'll make it easier for you, okay...?" I thought about any other position which would help him and be less painful...and then I decided on my lap. It would be a hell of a lot easier if he was sat on my lap.

Slowly, I picked him up off the bed and sat down myself, placing him ontop of me.

A bright red blush spread across his face, being able to feeling me against him I guess...

I carefully lifted him up, waiting for a reaction...an answer...to see if he knew what he was meant to do.

He learns fast.

Near impaled himself on the first try, pushing down and out of my grasp completely as a soft cry escaped from his now parted lips.

I moaned and tilted my head back, closing my eyes. "N-Near.."

Near must have guessed this to be a sort of sign to start moving his body, smart boy, so he did. Slowly, he pushed himself up with his hands so he was practically out of me, then dropped himself back down whilst moaning loudly.

I could tell that I'd hit his sweet spot dead on, as he began to move faster and harder. I pushed myself up to meet him as he pushed down...I was absolutely determined to bring as much pleasure to him as I possibly could, as well as to myself.

Near arched his back further, eyes completely clouded over with lust. He let out another cry, after dropping himself down particularly hard "I-I--hah!"

He shut his eyes tightly, his face looking like ecstacy had taken over. White curls stuck to his forehead with sweat, lips parted to let out high and low moans, cries, and much more...

He continued, picking up the pace slightly. The only sounds in our bedroom were our faltering moans, our panting, and the sound of flesh smacking against other flesh.

I knew he was ready...anytime now. I thrust up into him just as he shoved himself down harshly, which caused the most strangled moan yet.

With no vocal warning whatsoever, Near suddenly came, clenching around me as hard as he could with the last drop of effort. I couldn't take it. God. I felt heavenly. Near crying my name...just added to the pressure. I gave in to the sensation and climaxed within him, pushing myself as far as I possibly could, stifling a fairly loud groan.

I gently pulled Near off me and sat him down on the bed, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I'm...sorry..."

Near looked at me, confusion written on his face. "Mello...? W-What are you sorry for...?" _...Okay, he had an excuse for not knowing this time. _

"If I hurt you. Like...if memories came back or..." I was silenced by Near, kissing me and shuffling himself closer to me.

"...Mello, Thankyou."

_No one heard the quiet sobbing coming from behind the bedroom door...It went by unnoticed. _

_There was only one thing I was paying attention to...A question in my head._

**_...Why couldn't I stay here like this forever...?_**

* * *

**Me: HOLY SHIT GUYS~ I got a review. -shot- WELL OF COURSE I GOT A REVIEW? -shrug- Iunno. Anyway. Needed to change the rating xD thankyou Miss Tantomile, for reviewing, adding to your alerts, and being nice towards me =u=; That made no sense. **

**Me: ANYWA- **

**Mello: YOU CUT ME OFF, NOW IT'S MY TURN. WHY. THE FUCK. DID. YOU DO THAT?! **

**Me: Mm...It was a request~ **

**Mello: FROM?! **

**Me: My girlfriend...~ **

**Near: Tell her thankyou. **

**Mello: -Facepalm- **

**Me: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS! It's a bit...iffy. BUT IM HAPPY! its my first ero chapter. fanfiction. thing. SO. c: Review and critisize? FFF this is gonna become a LURV TRIANGLE~~ ...Of some sort. I think. **

**/Cba review whoring. D8 **

_~xNear_


	9. Which Angel?

**Me: ALRIGHT. LONG TIME. SLACKED OFF. PROBLEMS...FFF, IM SORRY D:**

**Me: THREE, TWO, ONE, GO!**

**Mello: ...**

**Me: NEAR, Mello refuses to co-operate so you start. GO!**

**Near: ...Risa**

**Matt: Doesn't**

**Me: Own~**

**Near: Death Note**

**Matt: Or**

**Me: Near~**

**Near: Or**

**Matt: ...Matt?**

**Me: Orrr~**

**Mello: This sexy beast~**

**Me: -Glare- ...You just ruined it. YOU RUINED IT ALL. We worked HARD ON THAT. HOW... Y-You're so mean...WHY'RE YOU SO MEAN TO ME ALL OF A SUDDEN I MEAN...I... -Sobs- ; m ;**

**Mello: ...What the actual fuck's your problem? Name one of the thousands.**

**Me: We worked as hard on this as you did on Near in the last chapter ; m ;**

**Mello: ...**

**Matt: -Carries on reading Playboy-**

**Me: MATT, GET RID OF THAT. RIGHT. NOW.**

**Matt: Ugh, shut up...you were mean to me, i'm not listening to you. -Carries on reading-**

**Me: ...Son of a b-**

**Near: -Risa. Back to the point, maybe?**

**Me: OHYES, it's been like...years. I'm so sorry you guys D: I've been caught up with homework, writer's block and just...eh...slacking off D8 Uhm, any idea's for the next chapter...damn, I'd love. ; ;?**

**Mello: Cheater.**

**Me: Runner-up.**

**Mello: Originality lacker.**

**Me: Second place.**

**Mello: ...Bitch.**

**Me: YOU little hooker, okay? ANYWAY, Hope you enjoy!**

**Mello: ...How the fuck am I a hook--**

**Me: KWE'RESTARTING,ROLLIT.**

**Near: Risa, this isn't a movie.**

**Mello: I know, right? What the hell is she on abo--**

**Me: Oh for god sake, START READING THE SHIZZ!**

**Mello: STOP CUTTING ME OFF, DAMNIT!**

**Me: AHAHA, STFU, DAMNIT.**

* * *

_Matt's POV_

I propelled my legs forward and rushed down the stairs towards Rogers office, knocking as loud as I could on the door.

"Ah, Who is it?" I could hear the chair squeak slightly as Roger leaned back against it, trying to look all professional.

"I-It's Matt, I need to tell you something desperately."

"Oh, alright Matt, one second." The chair could be heard again, scraping against the floor. Aside from just the chair, I could now hear footsteps echoing throughout the office and getting closer to the door

It opened halfway, as if it was hiding something behind it. "Matt, won't you please take a seat?" ...Take a seat? No...i'm just going to tell him. I will **not** lose **my** Mello.

"ROGER, MELLO AND NEAR ARE...WERE HAVING S-SEX UPSTAIRS!" ...I didn't mean to spit it out like that. Or did I?

Roger went wide-eyed and froze for the best part of a minute, then frowned slightly at me.

"Matt, enough with your nonsense. That sort of activity is banned from these grounds, and I am highly doubtful two of the top students, who know better, would take part in something like that within this house."

This wasn't working...I needed to show him.

"J-JUST COME WITH ME! PLEASE!" I grabbed onto his arm before he could even say a word and dragged him up the stairs.

_Mello's POV_

**Beep.**

I'm tired, go away.

**Beep.**

Ugh, shut UP.

**Beep, beep, beep**.

"I've told you to **KEEP YOUR MOUTH SH**-" ...It was just my alarm clock. Uh, nevermind.

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, looking to the side of me...

...he was so cute when he was sleeping, all curled up into himself with a few white tufts and curls of his hair sticking out from under the covers. _Fluffy._

I leaned over him and stroked his forehead lightly, trying not to wake him...which I did unsuccessfully.

He stirred slightly then sat up too, looking around the room for confirmation of where he was. After a big stretch and a yawn, he looked over at me with wide-eyes.

_What's wrong with my angel...?_ Did he not remember what happened last night...?

"M-Mello...what's on your--" A thunderous knock on the door snapped my attention away from him. "Mello...w-wait!" Not now... "One second, Near, someones at the door."

I slipped out from under the covers of the bed and pulled on my black trousers, leaving Near still urging me not to answer the door. Jeez, I wish he would shut up right now...it's too early.

"Mello, open this door right now!" ...What the hell was Roger doing at my door this early in the morning? Normally he doesn't come out of his office till what...lunch?

I looked back over at Near quickly, and flashed him one of my cocky smiles. He just bit his lip and scooted back under the covers, holding them over his head.

"**MELLO, OPEN IT**!" Oh for god sakes, can I not even have a single minute to get there?

"What the hell do you want, Roger?" I pulled the door open as quick as I could, for...emphasis? I guess.

"...Well? You woke me up this early for nothing?" Roger was just stood there, mouth agape... Matt, who was hidden behind him, looked the same. Their faces had been absolutely drained of all colour.

"Mello, what in... what in the world is--" Matt suddenly screamed and pointed to me, or so I thought.

"**W-WHY DO YOU HAVE WINGS**?!"

* * *

**Mello: I have wings now? What the HELL are you making me into, some retarded pigeon?**

**Me: Calm down, it's not that bad. Besides, you're dead so...**

**Matt: ...I don't like this story.**

**Near: I find it quite satisfactory actually, Matt.**

**Mello: Just because you lost your virginity to me-- wait...I HAVE SOMETHING OVER YOU!**

**Near: ...**

**Matt: ...**

**Me: OH MY GOD, NEAR, WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? Well...I've possibly made you lose your virginity to a sexy beast ;D**

**Mello: -boogies-**

**Me: -boogies with-**

**Matt: ...Don't worry Near, we'll get back at them.**

**Near: ...''**

* * *

**Thankyou guysss~ Again, sorry for not uploading...heh, I might actually ditch this story. I don't think...I'm very good at writing anymore xD; Since I havent done in so long. But yeah, it's entirely your choice and uhm... ._. sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger, and for the fact this chapter is rather short...'' ; m ;**

**/review whores? :c**

_~xNear_


	10. AN

**Graaaawrrgghhh..**

* * *

**Im so sorry you guysss**...

I've half done the next chapter, and my mind is just failing on me. Just recently done our tests and thats all that is on my mind right now...But don't worry.

I am **NOT** abandoning this story. Hellno. **EVEN**...If It's crap. **I shall not abandons. No.**

Anyway, I'm probably just gonna put this little fluffykins _-the story's name-_ on a week's hiatus or something...Just some time to clear my mind and wrack my brain for moar ideas.

Whilst you're waiting, I'll still be writing new chapters for my other Fanfiction: **Cranberry Street.**

So uhm...just...letting you guys know |3 Thanks alot to all my readers and reviewers. And favouriters...or whatever.

**-heartheartloveheartsqueeze-**

_~xNear_


	11. Captive

**Risa: no time for starts noa = v = time to get the story moving aloooong.**

**Near: ...**

**Mello: ...Why've you two gone quiet?**

**Matt: ...**

**Risa: They're being wusses. -frown-**

**Mello: Uh...Risa only owns this story. And cosplay. And a poster. And..Now a death note. -cough- She doesnt own me or them two wusses over there. -point- Nor does she own any of the other stuff from DN. E.G. it's characters, plot-**

**Risa: ..they get it.**

**

* * *

**

_Mello's POV_

I wasn't...expecting this.

When I was little, I remember my mam used to talk to me about God and his angels...I remember...She used to tell me stories, before I went to bed, of how the angels watched over me. Especially me. I was special. But isn't that what every parent tells their child...?

That they're special?

Being locked down here in this abandoned dreary basement certainly made me question my mothers words.

I was in no way special. To receive such a..'gift', and then get punished for it.

That is simply how society works, isn't it? You lock away those who are different...

I guess this is how Near feels.

I wonder how he is...Roger...said he needed to talk with him...

_-Flashback-_

_Matt's mouth hung open. "W-WHY DO YOU HAVE WINGS?"_

_"...Mello. You will get yourself dressed in something suitable, now. Do not let the other children see you and wait in my office until I get down there."_

_Blinking and frowning slightly, I nodded. Why was everyone...screaming and rushing about? I couldn't have such a thing as a pair of wings. It's impossible. Even...though I am still alive after...that._

_There was a pause, but I walked straight past them, back into the bedroom, grabbing my shirt off the bedroom floor before hand and pulled on Near's hand to get him out of the bed._

_Mistake._

_Sure, okay, whatever. It's not my fault I forgot he wasn't wearing anything. He didn't seem to mind anyway, jeez._

_I kept on dragging Near despite his protest, though stopped just outside the door to pull my shirt on, only to find it got stuck at my shoulder blades. No matter how hard I pulled down it didnt seem to budge._

_I took a deep breath and looked over my shoulder, only to find my eyes nearly popping out my head._

_Two crystal feathery white wings were...there. They were there! They couldn't be! I-It's...it's not...possible!_

_-End Flashback-_

_I'm not a freak._

_I'm not a freak._

_I'm not a freak._

"**I'M NOT A FREAK! WHY AM I HERE? ROGER! NEAR! MATT..!**" I was running out of idea's.

Checklist:

**Screaming = No.**  
**Standing up with the chair attatched = No.**  
**Gnawing through my arm = No.**

My brain wasn't working at it's best. Under normal circumstances, I would've been out of here already.

'Something or someone must have changed my thought patterns...' I could hear myself start to giggle, yet had no control over it. The noise grew louder until I threw my head back, laughing in hysterics.

"**Y-YOU GUYS? HELLOOO? WHY'RE YOU HIDING FROM ME?**"

My mind was screaming at me to stop with the absurd outbursts, but my lips merely kept on spewing out words after words, making me seem like a psycho.

_I was not a psycho..._

_I knew it. I wasn't. I wouldn't end up like Backup._

"**NEARYBOO! WHERE ARE Y-**" I jolted my head up, sitting up straight from my previous hunched over position.

The light from the doorway burned at my eyes, dialating the pupils. I could just about make out a tallish figure, the red hair, striped shirt...Matt...what if he's here to save me? To..TO GET ME OUT?

"**MATTYKINS! C-COME HERE...GET THESE ROPES OFF ME**."

Matt grinned slyly at me. His eyes narrowed, maliciously glinting.

"Near is dead."

* * *

**You guuuys...I'm so sorry if this is a bad chapter, I just seriously needed to start writing again to get myself used to it = w = I will update more regularly hopefully... Since It's the summer holidays in a week and four days D soyes. Hope you like it, sorry for the late updating again...-hugs- I SHALL MAKE IT UP.**  
**Oh and cliffhanger. Yay.**

_~xNear_


	12. Bound by Love and Chains

_Normal POV_

Mello sobbed, the tears burning at his sore eyes. He had been crying for a couple of hours now, following the previous event.

_-Flashback- (Mello's POV for Flashback)_

"Near is dead."

My eyes widened, the previous psychotic grin being completely wiped off my face.

Near..Near was dead? _H-How...? When?_

"...H-He's...dead?" I could hear my voice cracking, the overwhelming shock sending me back into a fit of crying hysterics. My hands trembled and clenched into fists repeatedly, trying to deal with the pent up confusion and depression.

"Yes, dead. Gone. Vanished. _In hell_." Matt grinned, sliding his goggles onto his eyes to hide the proud look of victory in his eyes.

"**YOU FUCKING BASTARD!**" I screamed weakly, my voice coming out in a strangled cry. He isn't dead. Is he?

Matt chuckled and looked down at the floor, carefully finding the concrete steps to slink down. He eyed me like some sort of fucking pervert.

"I'm...the bastard? No, Mello. You are. You left me for that..._thing_." He knelt down, wiping away one of the tears that was slowly streaming down my cheek.

"...I-I'll kill you. As soon as I get out these thing's **I'LL FUCKING SHOOT YOU!**" Matt knew I wasn't joking. I was pissed and upset beyond belief, the pain stabbed at my heart roughly...What had I done to deserve all this?

My hope was...completely gone.

_Near was dead. _

_Matt was a psycho. _

_I'd be held captive as a freak of nature in a gloomy old orphanage's basement. _

Would this be my life from now on? Getting bound to a chair for the rest of my life and forcefed down here whilst a rumour was produced about me moving to some other fucking country? Yeah. That sounds good enough to believe.

"You know Mello...I can forgive you. I can get you out of here." My ears pricked up at that. Although the tears continued flowing I was generally interested.

"...And...w-what would I have to do to make you forgive me...?" I looked down at the floor, hearing the splats of the salty substance hitting the cold stone.

"You're going to forget about Near. You're going to be mine, and do whatever I want you little whore. Got it?"

My eyes squeezed shut tightly, trying to get my brain to process what had just been said...this was just...this wasn't real. _This wasn't my life. This couldn't be_.

"...Get out." I snapped, keeping my head bowed down. The emotions were making my blood boil, till the point I thought I would end up burning to death from the heat of my blood. How was Matt not feeling this intense heat eminating off me?

"You're not in the position to be demanding things, princess." Matt snapped back at me, tilting my chin upwards and pecking my forehead.

I managed to squirm one of my hands out the ropes, the material burning my wrist in the process. _I couldn't feel the pain. It was gone. Mixed in with my emotions. The only thing I was concentrating on right now was getting out of here, and getting this fucking rapist off of me. _

"...**GET OUT BEFORE I RIP YOUR FUCKING THROAT OPEN YOU FUCKING CREEP!**" I swung my arm round and dug into my jeans, pulling out a pocket knife and pressing it roughly against Matt's throat.

Matt instantly tensed up but tried to remain calm on the outside, his smirk calming a little.

"Resulting to violence isn't smart, _angel_." Matt sneered and turned around, his back facing me.

"But I suppose if you're going to get in that much of a pissy fit, I'll leave you to your thoughts." He tipped his head back and snorted, looking at me over his shoulder. "Have a good fucking sleep." And with that the basement door slammed shut, all light being swallowed.

_-End Flashback- _

Mello lay sideways on the floor, having tipped the chair over in his crying fit. His wrist hurt. His head hurt. But nothing could compare to how his heart hurt...

_Quick Near POV. _

I slowly opened my eyes, groaning and feeling an immense throbbing pain in my head.

"Nnh...M-Mero...?" It was pitch black so I assumed it was night, until I heard birds chirping outside. I tried blinking to see if my vision had just gone temporarily. Nothing. A cloud of black was infront of me, that was it.

"...Mello? W-Where..." I sat up, finding something heavy to be restricting my wrists. A...chain of some sort?

I heard the door squeak open then close again.

"Nate? It's so..._so_ good to see you again, sweetheart..." _That voice...only belonged to one person. One person who was supposedly dead. _

* * *

**Zomg I'm in a writing mood o n o; THANKYOU TO ITILY AND FIETO FOR REVIEWING SO QUICKLY ; W ; I'm so thankful for you guys~ |D -heartheart-**  
**So yes, feedback, reviews, PM's, Adding my MSN...Idk, anything is loved. o 3 o **

/review whores ;D

_~xNear_


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